True Definition Of Love In A Relationship

Finding love can be one of the most intense and invigorating experiences in life. Anyone who's fallen in love with more than one person knows that the definition of love can oftentimes vary from relationship to relationship. The true definition of love may also differ depending on who you ask and where they are in any particular love journey when you ask them. For example, the experience of love can be totally different during the honeymoon phase of a relationship versus after five years of dating someone.

When trying to figure out love, it's also important to consider the fact that we all have slightly different ways of giving and receiving love. A major part of being in a successful and loving relationship is being aware of how you and your partner express love and making adjustments to your love languages when necessary.

Talking about true feelings through text instead of in person.

Being sarcastic

“Yeah, I love it when you talk about your ex-girlfriend.”
The first definition for sarcasm is “the use of irony to mock or convey contempt,” and it’s taken from the Greek word sarkasmos, which means “to tear flesh.”
Do I want to convey contempt for my husband? Do I want to tear his flesh with my words? God no.
We are often sarcastic when we are resentful or bitter. Yes, we may use it for a bit of playful teasing, but when we get into the realm of trying to communicate something without really communicating it, then we’re starting to hurt our relationship.
What could I have said instead of be sarcastic? “Hey, I don’t want to hear about your ex-girlfriend. Let’s change the topic.” That way, I’m being clear and communicating what I need.
 Not saying you’re sorry
Sometimes saying you’re sorry can move an argument to a resolution while holding onto your sorry like it’s Gollum’s precious ring can lock you in a battle for days.
If you’ve done something wrong, own it, apologize, and ask how you can make it right.
Yes, admitting fault can make you feel vulnerable and — dare I say it — weak, but relationships are about relating, and if you’re perfect all the goddamn time and do nothing wrong, your partner is going to get sick of your shit and move on.

Having to be right all the time

“Ha! I was RIGHT!” I shouted after ignoring my husband for 10 minutes while scrolling through my phone to prove that the actress in the film we were watching had also been an actress in another one we’d seen previously.
What’s wrong with this? That I spent 10 fucking minutes ignoring my husband so I could prove him wrong on something that doesn’t even matter.
Know what does matter? Love. Connection. Intimacy.
I’m an insufferable know-it-all some days, and the times when I can say, “Maybe you’re right,” and move along are exceedingly better times than those when I have to prove I‘m right to fluff up my own ego.
“You’re acting just like my ex-husband!” is literally a thing that once came out of my dumb mouth.
Whenever we compare our partner to someone else, we are making them lose. That foundation is unstably built because it’s dependent on the qualities or behaviors of someone else.
This even applies to if we are comparing them positively.
“Sara’s husband never helps out around the house. I’m so glad you do.”
Instead of just celebrating my partner’s accomplishment for what it is, I was only pointing it out in comparison.
Nobody deserves to be compared. Even if it’s good or bad. The best thing I can do is celebrate my partner’s good qualities and discuss his not so great qualities with him, but leave other people and what they’re doing out of it.
It seems counterintuitive to give up things to get things, but Deepak Chopra, Oprah, and lots of other banging people, say that we can’t receive if we don’t also give.
When you give up any of these nasty relating habits, you prepare yourself to receive something even better: a healthier, more joyful relationship.


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